So I was watching the season finale of South Park the other night and something came to me like a wrecking ball with a former Disney star perched atop it: Playing the victim gives you a pass to be a jerk or shirk responsibility. That was an overall theme for the season, as the one thread that ran through the entire season was Heidi's relationship with Cartman and how they would each play the victim card depending on the episode, with Cartman doing it in the first half and Heidi in the second as she became a female Cartman. However in the final moments she realized what she become, as she let her perceived victimhood turn her into this as she finally called it quits with him.
So how does this apply to me? How am I letting victimhood turn me into a Cartman? Lately my life has been a roller coaster, with every good or decent thing that happens it feels like something bad counteracts it. My uncle died two weeks ago and last week my dog hurt herself playing outside as well as my SO's abusive ex trying to come after us, forcing us to change our numbers to get away from him. I can't bring my uncle back through bitterness, and my dog won't get better by me being a chumpstain to people I don't know.
Which brings me to the reason I decided to write this blog post after months of being stagnant. There was a news story about a young boy named Keaton who made a viral video detailing how he was depressed over being bullied at school and at first he got mountains of empathy and in a similar way to the #MeToo movement, allowed people to come out publicly with their experiences being bullied. However rumors began to spread like a fire consumes a parched Christmas Tree about Keaton's mom being a supporter of the Confederate flag and Keaton himself using the N word to classmates, and with that all the empathy was swiftly taken away and replaced with more bullying. Mind you none of these have been verified as of yet as no evidence beyond conjecture has been brought to the surface, yet the court of public opinion came forward and declared guilty anyway.
What does this have to do with me? At the time the news broke, I was livid and said on a friend's page that all of them need to go to Hell, including the bullies. I had a ton of weight on my shoulders and I had to release it somehow but that's not an excuse. While it's true I didn't know at the time that these allegations weren't confirmed, healthy skepticism is a practice I wish we would use a lot more often, but I can see why people would think this without evidence. Keaton and his mom have a distinct Southern drawl so it would be easy to assume these two are racist hicks who brought the bullying to themselves.
Let's assume that the accusations were true, why does it matter? How does having an unpopular opinion or saying a pejorative word deny someone sympathy? Not to get too philosophical but if you point a finger, you have three pointing back at you, so you best hope that you have a clean record. Never throw stones from glass houses as they say. The truth is that this hatred is only going to make their bitterness worse, assuming again that the accusations have weight to them. It certainly made the bullying and harassment worse. I'm willing to admit I was wrong to judge them prematurely without looking for facts as I was in emotional pain and needed a catharsis. No one needs to go the Hell. I'm not going to let my victimhood be a sword and shield I can brandish at will. I'll happily admit what I did was wrong and I shouldn't let my emotions cloud my rational thoughts. I need to try harder at these things in order to improve myself as a person.
If only more people could do the same thing and look at some introspection and take responsibility when they're wrong, maybe the world would be a much more enjoyable place to live.
