Inaugural ramble

Hey guys, what's going on? It's James, throwing my already tattered hat back into the blogging ring and write about things that cross my mind and you probably won't care about. Who am I kidding, you'd have to care a little bit to actually be reading this, right? Anyway, I want to make this a semi-regular blog, updating it whenever I feel there's something on my mind that I'd like to discuss.

That said, what topics will be the groundbreaker for this inaugural post? Well, we've all heard about wacky and frivolous lawsuits, and browsing through my Facebook feed this morning, I spot a real doozy. The lawsuit in question was directed at McDonalds, by a man who claims that he wasn't given enough napkins. Now what amount of money is he suing the Clown for? $1.5 million bucks. People, you can't make this stuff up if you tried. So let me get this straight: At this particular Mickey D's in California, napkins aren't self-serve but rather available upon request. I'm sorry, but I'm not buying that. 

McDonalds has always been the cornerstone of frivolous lawsuits, from a lady suing them because she didn't know her coffee was, surprise surprise, hot, or the two sisters who sued because they got fat from constantly stuffing their faces with Big Macs and fries on a routine basis. And people wonder why foreign countries want America blown off the face of the Earth. Guys, if you want to make a BS lawsuit against a big company, Mickey D's isn't a good choice anymore. Listen to Weird Al's "I'll Sue Ya" for some ideas if you must. Of course that's sarcasm and if anyone reading this decides to actually follow through with that advice, maybe even to the point of self injury or death, just know there's a Darwin award waiting with your name on it. 

Another topic that caught my eye was George Lopez getting arrested for public drunkenness at a Canadian casino in Ontario. First of all, how is George relevant anymore? The last I saw of him was his lackluster talk show which got cancelled rather quickly, if memory serves, and then they rerun episodes of his crappy sitcom on Nick at Nite alongside endless Friends, Fresh Prince, and Family Matters reruns. According to the report, he got done doing a show at that casino and then decided to get hammered and pass out on the casino floor. 

Listen, Lopez, I know your career has degenerated to torturing live audiences with your brand of "comedy" at low-key casinos in Canada, but did it really have to come to getting drunk in front of the audience who barely survived your show and having your inebriated visage plastered all over the internet?  It's bad enough they had to sit through your act, but those poor people were just trying to wash away the bad comedy with gambling their life savings away. Wasn't there a low-budget direct to video cartoon movie you could have voice acted in? Your dignity may be gone, but at least you wouldn't be in prison.

Wow, rambling is right, just two mediocre news stories and I made a long post about them. Well, if you like what you see, stick around and join the fun. If not, well at least you tried and maybe you should go read something else like the egomaniacs of Twitter and Instagram, which I'll discuss another time, oddly enough. Have a good day, folks, and I'll see you on the brighter later.